| The Professor of Economics
An economics professor at school had a strict
policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at
the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the
bell would take a zero on the exam.
Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the
bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor
looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper
in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell."
The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know
who I am!"
The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your
dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on
this exam"
The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You
mean you have no idea who I am?"
The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think
you are."
With that, the guy said "Good!" plunged his exam
into the middle of the stack of other student's exams, and
did a hasty retreat from the examination room!
The Harvard Graduates
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard
were all excited and talking effusively as they got into a
taxi in downtown Boston.
After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver
asked, "You men Harvard graduates?"
"Yes Sir! Class of '94!" they answered proudly.
The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand,
saying, "Class of '58."
When I First Started College
When I first started college, the Dean came
in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we
echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen."
He explained. "When you walk in and say good morning,
and they say good morning back, it's Freshmen. When they put
their newspapers down and open their books, it's Sophomores.
When they look up so they can see the instructor over the
tops of the newspapers, it's juniors. When they put their
feet up on the desks and keep reading, it's seniors."
"When you walk in and say good morning, and they write
it down, it's graduate students."
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
(taken from the Harvard Crimson)
1. It doesn't bother me at all that my college
roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
2. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
3. My work has a lot of practical importance.
4. I would never date an undergraduate.
5. Your latest article was so inspiring.
6. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
7. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
8. The department is giving me so much support.
9. My job prospects look really good.
10. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
Any Idiots in the Room?
"If there are any idiots in the room, will
they please stand up" said the sarcastic lecturer.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now
then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?"
enquired the lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but
I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
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